


give me two damn minutes and I’ll be fine

by malskira



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, Im bad at tagging okay, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg Friendship, M/M, Non-Human Jaskier | Dandelion, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Slow Burn, and helps her find yennefer, ciri can have two moms and two dads bc i said so, geralt really fucked up okay, jaskier finds ciri instead, no beta we die like jaskiers heart on that mountain, yknow what
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23870413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malskira/pseuds/malskira
Summary: Jaskier's mind couldn't help but wander to the child of surprise. Even on his travels, he heard of the fall of Cintra. Calanthe, for some reason, still welcomed him back to the courts to play.He became quite close with Ciri. He considered her family. It hurt to think of her no longer alive."Who's there?" A little voice asked.A little girl. The voice abruptly brought him back to reality, snapping him out of his train of thought.----Or; Jaskier finds Ciri in the forest and helps her find her destiny.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 49
Kudos: 471





	1. Chapter 1

Jaskier knew he wasn't the easiest person to deal with. He was told so at every opportunity when he was a kid. In fact, someone once told him they wished he was human, so this earth would be rid of him faster. 

Don't even get started on the threats from the taken men and women he bedded. The wives and husbands of them always failed to be creative with their threats, which is why he didn't take them too seriously. 

"I'm gonna kill you, son." 

"You're the scum of the earth and deserve to be dead."

"You'll live to regret it."

Those were the usual ones. The latter is the funniest to him, considering he'll outlive whoever is making the threat. 

Once again, he never took them seriously. He became used to it at a certain point. Geralt, on the other hand, didn't. The witcher took the threats extremely seriously. He always swooped in and saved the bard.

Geralt would always mumble about how Jaskier needed to be more careful and not sleep with taken women. How Geralt didn't know Jaskier bedded men as well was quite astounding. At least, Jaskier didn't think Geralt knew. Geralt only mentioned the women.

Whenever Geralt would mumble those words, Jaskier would always respond with a comment saying he always knew he cared. The witcher would just grunt and shake his head, not responding. 

Jaskier always knew Geralt cared, or at least he thought he did. His opinion on that changed at this very moment. 

"Phew! What a day!" Jaskier said, walking up to Geralt. 

It was clear the other man was upset. Jaskier didn't know how to exactly, but he wanted to comfort Geralt. Geralt was the type of man who never shared his feelings. Despite this, Jaskier always tried to fight a way to lift his spirits. 

Sometimes, he was successful. This was not one of those times. 

"I imagine you're probably-" 

Geralt cut him off, "Damn it, Jaskier!" He yelled, "Why is it whenever I find myself in a pile of shit these days, it's you, shoveling it?"

"Well, that's not fair." Jaskier said, feeling like he'd been punched in the chest. 

"The child surprise, the djinn, all of it! If life could give me one blessing," Geralt pointed a finger, "It would be to take you off my hands." 

Jaskier was suddenly thankful that Geralt had turned around after he said that. There were visible tears in the bard's eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment. 

"Right. Uh, right then. I'll," For once, Jaskier was speechless, "I'll go get the rest of the story from the others. See you around, Geralt."

He turned around, walking away from Geralt. The tears started pouring uncontrollably from his eyes. When he was certain he was far enough from Geralt, he sat down, head immediately falling into his hands.

All of those years were now gone. It felt as if Geralt ripped Jaskier's heart of out his chest and stomped on it. Actually, that probably would've hurt less. 

Did he truly mean that little to Geralt? After all these years? He wasn't sure if Geralt was being honest, but it sure felt like he was. 

He decided on giving him some space. That was the best option, right? Deep down, Jaskier knew Geralt will never want anything to do with him after everything. Honestly, he didn't blame him. Jaskier probably would've left himself a while ago. 

He still had so much to tell Geralt, and now he'd never get the chance. It was probably better for the other man. 

Geralt always hated his non-stop talking. 

Jaskier stood up and started walking back to where he left his things. He picked up his lute and started walking. 

While he didn't want to admit it, he was anxious to travel alone again. He's always had too much energy for his body to handle. It's why he chattered so much. 

Without someone to talk to, it was going to overwhelm him easily. He'd manage, Jaskier thought. 

In all honesty, Jaskier wasn't sure how long he's been walking for. The passage of time seemed to be lost on him most times, especially now. 

The passage of time excuse is what he'd use when people mentioned how young he looked for his age. He'd either say that or how he's just _great_ at moisturizing. Geralt would always huff in response to both of them.

Jaskier, if he was being honest, wasn't sure that Geralt knew he wasn't human. He never mentioned it, or, well, tried to kill him. So Jaskier never brought it up.

He'll be fine without him, he thought, he'll manage.

___

Jaskier went to the stable to get his horse. He wasn't sure how long it's been since the mountain, and he was positive the pain hasn't lessened in the slightest. The seasons have seemed to change. The bitter coldness that was once there no longer was. Nonetheless, he's been managing. 

He was right about the tavern. On the eighth night, after they had him play _Toss a Coin_ seven bloody times, he had enough to buy a horse. He'd already been saving up, so it wasn't too bad.

Pegasus was her name. She wasn't the fastest, but Jaskier still loved her. He set off along the path, riding for Melitele knows how long. 

He didn't know when he decided to stop to take a break, but he did. Jaskier figured Pegasus needed a break. He tied her to a tree.

The bard was walking through the forest, something Geralt would've scolded him for, when he decided to sit down, leaning against a tree. He hadn't gone too far from Pegasus, so he knew she was safe, but he still was able to get some space.

For the first time today, Jaskier allowed himself to take a deep breath, something he hadn't been doing too much since the mountain. He's been traveling a lot, trying to get as far away from Geralt as he could.

It was a relatively cool day, but it wasn't too cold. The chill air calmed his nerves a bit. 

Perhaps he'd get a horse. A week at a tavern would give him enough, he thought. Well, if he sang enough. A horse would be nice, though. At least he'd have someone to talk to then.

A pang shot through Jaskier's chest at the thought of Roach. He'll miss her. She would sometimes allow Jaskier to weave flowers into her hair since Geralt wouldn't. 

Geralt let him one time, and that was only because Jaskier had been in a truly awful mood. That was the only time, but Jaskier still treasured it. 

There was something so breathtaking about seeing the witcher with flowers of every color weaved into his hair in a plait. Jaskier picked a yellow flower that matched Geralt's eyes. His heart rate still sped up at the memory of it.

He always did try telling the other man that he was gorgeous, but Geralt always huffed, almost as if he didn't believe him. 

Jaskier knew Geralt didn't get called anything more than "attractive", and the bard believed that to be a true tragedy. In all his years, he wasn't sure he's ever seen someone so _beautiful_. 

On top of that, Geralt had to go and be a decent man. 

There were rare occasions where a child would come up to him without a hint of fear. There was a little girl, Jaskier remembers her name to be Adelina, who came up to him with flowers in her hands. 

Geralt kneeled down and smiled, genuinely smiled, at her. His posture relaxed for a split second as he accepted them. He thanked her, flinching for only a moment as she quickly threw her arms around him.

He looked slightly awkward while in the embrace. It was clear he didn't get this treatment often, especially from children. She whispered something into his shoulder, tears in her eyes. 

She pulled back and wiped her face, waving to them before she walked off. When Jaskier asked him what it was about, Geralt replied with how he apparently saved her father's life. 

Jaskier still smiles looking back at that moment. It's how Geralt should always be treated. 

He laughed lightly at the thought. He still thought the world of the witcher, even after what the other man had said. 

Jaskier's mind couldn't help but wander to the child of surprise. Even on his travels, he heard of the fall of Cintra. Calanthe, for some reason, still welcomed him back to the courts to play.

He became quite close with Ciri. He considered her family. It hurt to think of her no longer alive. 

"Who's there?" A little voice asked.

A little girl. The voice abruptly brought him back to reality, snapping him out of his train of thought. 

Jaskier tried to make himself as small as he could behind the tree. He rested his hand lightly on the small dagger that was in his boot. He kept it on him whenever he traveled alone. 

He pulled it out just as the little girl came around the tree, but she kept her distance. She was holding a tree branch for self-defense. Jaskier almost laughed at the sight. He's been there, and he just realized how ridiculous of an idea it is. 

Jaskier took a moment, staring at the little girl's face. His jaw dropped as soon as he recognized the face. 

"Princess Cirilla?" He almost yelled.

Ciri dropped the branch suddenly, "Jaskier?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Holy shit. Shit, I just did it again, sorry for the language I just can't actually believe it's you."
> 
> He genuinely couldn't believe it. It was just his luck, finding the child surprise of the man he had been madly in love with.

"Princess Cirilla?" He almost yelled.

Ciri dropped the branch suddenly, "Jaskier?"

"Wait, stay back." He held a hand up, other hand was reaching for his silver dagger.

Before Jaskier did anything, he wanted to make sure, by some miracle, it was actually Ciri. 

"Hold this." Jaskier said. 

Ciri looked scared, but she reached out for the blade. She looked confused as she grabbed it.

Jaskier let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Holy shit. Shit, I just did it again, sorry for the language I just can't actually believe it's you."

He genuinely couldn't believe it. It was just his luck, finding the child surprise of the man he had been madly in love with. 

The little girl dropped the dagger and threw her arms around the bard. Jaskier wrapped his arms around her, pulling her further into the embrace. 

She pulled back, sniffling, "It's been so long since I've seen someone I knew."

"I'm here, Ciri. You look like you've been holding up alright. I'm glad." Jaskier said, "I was worried when I heard what happened."

Ciri was quiet for a minute, "Who is Yennefer?"

Jaskier felt himself flinch at the name, "Why do you ask?"

"She's my destiny, her and Geralt of Rivia."

Fucking swell, Jaskier thought. As if it couldn't have gotten any better. The man he had been in love with and a very scary mage who was an ex lover of said man were her destiny. 

"Jaskier?"

"Right, sorry, my princess. I, in fact, do know her."

He saw a question forming in the girl's head, "May you help me find them?"

"I would, my dear Cirilla, but I'm not on the best of terms with either of them."

A look of sadness and fear passed over her face. 

He couldn't imagine what horrors she must've seen in order for a look like that to appear. She has been alone for so long, not even including the horrors of the fall of Cintra. 

Jaskier pieces it all together. She's scared to be alone again. She just found someone she's known for most of her life, and now he's going to leave her as well.

The decision he makes is almost instantaneous. 

"Yennefer," Jaskier spoke before he could regret it and change his mind, "I'll help you find her, and I guarantee you'll find Geralt wherever she is."

"Why is that?"

Jaskier sighed, "Let's just say you're not the only one who's destiny is one Yennefer of Vengerberg."

She only nodded. He hoped she couldn't tell the sadness that his words were drowned in, but she probably did. 

In the years Jaskier had known her, he could tell Ciri was an awful lot like Calanthe. She was too observant for her own good. 

In all honestly, Jaskier wasn't sure why Calanthe welcomed him back to play in Cintra courts after the horrific event with Pavetta. He was thankful, though. 

When he'd leave Geralt, he'd either go to Oxenfurt or Cintra. He knew he had a home at either place.

"Thank you, Jaskier." She said, smiling lightly. 

Jaskier nodded, "Of course, Cirilla."

"Ciri."

"Well, Ciri, I have to say, as far as nicknames go, that one is quite extraordinary." Ciri laughed in response, "We should start going then. Just wait until you meet Pegasus, sh-"

Ciri cut him off, "Pegasus?"

"Firstly, rude to cut me off like that." Ciri laughed, "Secondly, she's my horse, and let me tell you, she is a beauty. She's slow at times, but I love her anyways. I suppose it's also from all the sugar cubes I feed her."

"You spoil your horse too much." She said.

That was such a Geralt thing to say, Jaskier thought. Of course the child of surprise just had to somehow turn out like him. 

"No such thing. Horses merely deserve the best treatment."

He hadn't left Pegasus too far away from where they were, so they got to her quite quickly. Ciri's eyes seemed to light up when she saw the horse, running up to her and running her hands through the horses mane. 

Jaskier smiled at the sight. It made a wave of fondness wash over him. He had missed the princess. 

"Right then, hop up. We should find a place to set up camp. I'm not sure how long the walk will be, my princess."

"You don't have to call me that. I'm not that anymore." She said, clearly trying to mask the sadness in her tone.

Jaskier turned to her, kneeling down to her height, "I know, but in my heart you still are. You'll forever be a princess to me, but I won't call you that anymore if you wish."

She shook her head, "No, it's okay. It has been a while, but it isn't bad."

"And know I'll never call you that around other people, your safety and privacy mean the world to me." He took her smile as a response, "Right now, hop up on this very nice horse. We haven't got all day."

Despite what his words might've came off as, he didn't want her walking not because she'd slow them down. He didn't want her walking because it seemed she had been walking for ages, and he no longer wanted her to go through that.

As someone who was forced to walk for hours on end for decades, it's not a pleasant experience. Of course, Geralt would let Jaskier ride on Roach in cases of emergency or if the bard was truly in pain.

It was moments like those that made Jaskier believe maybe, just maybe, the witcher truly cared for him, but that turned out to not be true. It was evident on the mountain. 

After he helped Ciri onto Pegasus, he grabbed the horse by the reins and led them to walk through the forest. The sun was going to set soon, so they needed to find a place to set up camp relatively soon. 

Jaskier knew a good place to camp when he saw one. It wasn't too long until he did. He tied Pegasus to a tree nearby and helped Ciri down. 

She could've easily gotten down on her own without getting hurt, but Jaskier wanted to help.

With Ciri's help, he quickly gathered some wood for a fire. He realized starting a fire would be significantly more difficult without Geralt here. Whatever pang that shot through his chest at that thought, he pushed away.

After some struggling and laughs from Ciri, he successfully started a fire. He became suddenly very thankful for being an elf and their skill for anything involving nature.

Jaskier walked over to Pegasus and grabbed the bedrolls out of her side pouch. He always traveled with a second one in case the first one got ruined. While he was there, he grabbed some spare food he kept in there

Geralt would've called him dramatic for it, but it came in handy in times like these.

He rolled the bedrolls out by the fire. They both moved to sit on their own. He handed the food to Ciri and picked up his lute, plucking lightly at the strings.

"No, I cannot possibly take all of this." She objected.

Jaskier shook his head, "Eat it, Ciri. I'm still full from earlier, and you need it more than me. You're a growing child, so eat up."

She smiled at him, hesitantly eating. 

He hadn't eaten much today, but he truly wasn't hungry. Ciri also seemed as if she hadn't eaten properly in a while. 

The need for finding Yennefer grew stronger as that thought passed over Jaskier's mind. Yennefer would be able to properly care for her.

Her, Ciri, and Geralt would make a nice family. Another pang shot through Jaskier's chest again.

Of all the decades he knew Geralt, he was never once called his friend. No matter how many times he brushed it off, it still hurt. 

"Jaskier?" Ciri asked in a quiet voice.

She had finished eating and was laying down, curled up in her bedroll by the fire. It was close to Jaskier's. He did that on purpose, so he could keep an eye on her.

"Yes, my dear princess?"

"May you play something for me?"

"Of course. Any requests?"

She thought about it for a moment, "Something slow, please."

It was clear she wanted something to fall asleep to. Jaskier nodded, thinking about what song to play. 

_"Awake, awake, you children bold,  
Take hold of all your books and fold the corners.  
They warned us a storm is coming on.  
What do you mean you’ve lost your scarlet welly boots, do y’know what they cost?   
Wear a raincoat or it’ll soak you to the bone."_

She smiled at his voice. It was probably nice for her to hear something so familiar to her, something she grew up with. 

_"What's it like, the children ask?  
It’s just like falling snow, I am above you, and I love you.   
Don’t you know that I’ll be with you all along,   
As long as you are kind to those who are not strong and cannot find their scarlet welly boots."_

By the time Jaskier finished the song, Ciri was fast asleep. He looked at her and smiled. She looked peaceful, almost like she was when he knew her years ago.

So much for traveling alone, he thought happily. He curled up under his own bedroll. The last thought on his mind was the fear of facing Yennefer of Vengerberg once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i write this at 2am with a massive headache? you know it! 
> 
> (the song is 'welly boots' by the amazing devil!!)
> 
> i hope everyone is enjoying this thought! the comments/kudos people have left so far have made my day :) so thank you all!
> 
> i'm probably going to introduce yen in the next chapter or two just to speed things up a bit. i really enjoy writing this, especially jaskier and ciri's relationship. she's gonna have two dads (and definitely two moms) because i say so.
> 
> also yes i know pegasus was originally a male, but i made her a girl because why not.
> 
> until next time <3 :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yeah," Jaskier cleared his throat, "Most of my songs to this day are about him."
> 
> "Like the one last night?" Ciri asked, but she asked another question before he could answer, "What was he like?"
> 
> Jaskier laughed lightly, "Do you want the honest answer."
> 
> Ciri just sent a glare his way. She was certainly going to get along with Geralt and Yennefer great.

Jaskier awoke with one thing on his mind, Yennefer of Vengerberg. He'd be lying if he wasn't terrified to face her once again. 

Their exchanges in the best haven't been the best to say the least. Jaskier supposes a part of that was his fault. In all honesty, he didn't truly hate Yennefer, but she certainly hated him. Or at least it seemed as such.

But he was doing this for Ciri. She needed Yennefer, so he'd put whatever fear he was feeling aside for her. 

What was scarier for Jaskier was the thought of finding Geralt. Geralt would for sure be with Yennefer, they were inseparable last time he saw them. 

It's fine, he thought to himself. Jaskier planned to bring Ciri to them and then leave. It's not like their lives will be any different if he wasn't in them.

Geralt made that very clear. In fact, he implied how his life would've been better if it wasn't for Jaskier.

As much as he'd miss Ciri, it's what he has to do. She'll hopefully understand. She will have a new family after all, it just won't be one with him. It's better like that. 

What place does a part elf bard have in a family with a princess, powerful mage, and a witcher? No place at all, Jaskier thought.

So it was settled. Jaskier and Ciri would go into town today, or Jaskier would, he risk having Ciri noticed, and he would ask around for Yennefer. 

Yennefer was known to travel, and she wasn't hard to miss, so someone would definitely know something. 

Plus, Jaskier believed some part of this had to do with destiny. If Yennefer and Geralt were truly part of Ciri's destiny, they couldn't be too far away for too long. 

Jaskier's train of thought was broken as he heard Ciri starting to stir in her sleep right before she woke up. 

"Goodmorning, Cirilla."

Ciri laughed lightly at the formality, "How did you sleep?" 

Jaskier smiled at her concern, "I slept fine. How did _you_ sleep?"

"Well, I'm going to pretend you didn't just lie to me, but I slept alright. Thank you."

So, she was a lot like Geralt and Yennefer, then. 

"I was thinking I could we could head into town today. Or, I could head into town, and you would stay somewhere safe close by." Jaskier said, "Someone is bound to know something about Yennefer."

"I think I want to stay close by, if that's alright."

Jaskier understood, "Of course that's okay. I will do whatever you're comfortable with."

Ciri nodded, sitting up. Jaskier went over to Pegasus and pulled out the last of the food he had. He handed it to Ciri.

She shook her head, "No, no, I can't. That's the rest."

"I'm going to be the one going into town, I'll have the opportunity to eat and get some more food. You, on the other hand, do not. So eat, now."

Hesitantly, she obliged, slowly grabbing the food from his hands. 

It wasn't the first time Jaskier refused a meal to help the person he was traveling with. If Geralt ever noticed, though, he never said anything. 

In Jaskier's defense, he believed the witcher needed it more. Unlike a human, he could go a while without eating. Geralt needed his strength for fights, so Jaskier saw it as a fair trade.

It wasn't like he starved himself, he only skipped a few meals when it was necessary.

Jaskier noticed Ciri was done eating.

"Ready to hit the road?" Jaskier asked.

Ciri laughed and nodded. Jaskier helped her onto Pegasus, and they began to walk. 

It was a long travel, most of it has been done in silence. 

"Can you play something?" Ciri asked, "You don't have to. It's just it's been a while since I've been with someone, and I miss you playing."

"All you ever have to do is ask. Geralt was never this accepting of my music, so this is refreshing."

"I keep forgetting you traveled with him. That's what most of your songs were about, right?" 

Jaskier nodded, not trusting his words.

Ciri was young when he played in Cintra, so it wasn't unusual for her to not remember all of his songs.

Jaskier quickly chose a song of his to play, deciding on something more upbeat and cheerful.

_"There will come a soldier who carries a mighty sword.  
He will tear your city down,   
O lei o lai o lord.  
O lei, o lai, o lei, o lord.  
He will tear your city down,   
O lei o lai o lord."_

Jaskier felt his mood lightening, even despite the painful reminder of the better times in which he'd write songs like this.

_"There will come a poet whose weapon is his word.  
He will slay you with his tongue,   
O lei o lai o lord.  
O lei, o lai, o lei, o lord.  
He will slay you with his tongue,   
O lei o lai o lord."_

He finished the rest of the song which mostly consisted of repetition. This song was always a hit at taverns and royal courts. The crowd dancing around. 

Jaskier missed those simpler times, and even if he didn't want to admit it, he missed Geralt.

"Was that one about you two?"

The question caught Jaskier off-guard, "What?"

"The solider, the poet. It's you two, isn't it?" 

Ciri seemed unphased. 

"Yeah," Jaskier cleared his throat, "Most of my songs to this day are about him."

"Like the one last night?" Ciri asked, but she asked another question before he could answer, "What was he like?"

Jaskier laughed lightly, "Do you want the honest answer."

Ciri just sent a glare his way. She was certainly going to get along with Geralt and Yennefer great. 

"He was sometimes a dick. Shit-shit-shoot, I didn't mean to swear. He, uh, wasn't the nicest at times, but his actions showed he cared. He would tell me he didn't care if something happened to me or how he'd leave me at the next tavern, but then he'd always take care of me when I needed it."

"Geralt would keep healing supplies in his pack. They weren't strong enough to do anything for a witcher, but they would've definitely helped someone like me. You know, when we first met, he gave me his last coin. I had just finished a performance, which was in front of a truly ungrateful crowd, can I just say? They have no taste."

"Anyway, it was his last coin, and he gave it to me. A little peace of advice for you is don't always listen to him. He may say something hurtful when he truly doesn't mean it. It's his actions that are true."

Jaskier took a deep breath. He didn't mean to ramble that much, he had just been keeping it in for so long.

"You really cared for him, didn't you?" Ciri asked, seeming slightly hurt.

"Yes, I did. Sadly, in the end, he didn't feel the same."

Ciri shook her head, "That goes directly against what you just told me, don't always listen to his words."

Jaskier stayed silent, not wanting to say how what he did on the mountain was a true action of his. It showed what he's been wanting to do all these decades.

"Do you think he will like me?" She sounded slightly anxious.

"Without a doubt. You two are actually a lot a like. Both of you with your glaring at Jaskier and your remarks." Jaskier smiled at her.

That marked the end of their conversation. They traveled the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. 

It hurt Jaskier to think of how he would have to leave her so soon again. 

They stopped at the edge of the woods. It was a hidden enough spot to where no one could see them, but it wasn't too far away from the town in case of an emergency.

"I'll be back in about an hour or two, okay? If you need anything, just, uh, shout? I guess?"

"That won't be a problem."

There was a look on Ciri's face that seemed like she knew something he didn't.

Jaskier leaned down to give her a hug, "I'll be back soon." 

She smiled in acknowledgement. 

He walked down the path and into the town. It was small, Jaskier liked it. He wandered around the markets getting supplies until they had enough to get to last them to the next town.

Jaskier decided a tavern was the best place to gather information. He saw Geralt do it once. The witcher went up to every table asking questions.

At one table, a man got him to play gwent in exchange for information. Jaskier still laughs at the image of the one cat in there that wouldn't stop hissing at Geralt.

"How may I help you, dear?" A woman said. 

She had dark brown hair, tanned skin with freckles scattered across, and bright blue eyes. She was beautiful, Jaskier thought.

"I'm looking for someone who might've passed through here. I'm afraid I'm not sure when, though."

"I'd talk to Gwaine. He's over there in that corner having a drink."

Jaskier smiled at her, "Thank you, gorgeous."

The woman smiled, rolling her eyes before she walked away. Jaskier walked over to the man in the corner, sitting down across from him.

The man had dark brown hair that was on the longer side. Everyone in this town is stunning, Jaskier thought.

"How can I help you, darling?" The man asked with a wink.

"I'm looking for someone, and I was told you could help me?" Jaskier said leaning onto the table slightly.

Gwaine smiled, "We haven't even been properly introduced, but I assume you know my name. You are..."

"Jaskier."

"Stunning name for a stunning man."

Jaskier felt his face flush a bit, "Can you help me?"

"You're no fun, but yes, I can try. Describe them to me."

"She smells of lilac and gooseberries, dresses in black and white."

Nice description, Jaskier thought. He mentally kicked himself for how awful it was.

"Yennefer of Vengerberg?" Gwaine asked.

Jaskier was taken back, "I never mentioned her name."

"Yet, you described her perfectly. She's here often with her partner, lives right in the woods by here, in fact."

It hurt at the mention of Geralt, but Jaskier pushed it away.

"How close?" 

Gwaine went on to describe how you'd get there. In all honesty, Jaskier wasn't sure why he trusted this man he just met, but he did.

"I hope you find her." 

"Thank you, love." Jaskier said smiling, standing up from the table. 

He reached into his pouch to grab coin before Gwaine stopped him. 

"No need. Just come back to visit me sometime."

Jaskier laughed but nodded. His main mission was getting back to Ciri. If it were any occasion, he would happily stay here and get drunk with this man and then do who knows what.

He hurried out of the tavern and back throughout the town. He realized that where Ciri was seemed to be on the way to Yennefer.

He made in back to Ciri in a short while. She quickly stood to her feet when she saw him, instantly bringing him into an embrace. 

"You're back." She said.

"I always keep my promises." He said, pulling back, "Good news as well, I know where Yennefer is."

She nodded, and he took it as a signal to lead the way. Something felt off about this all. It was too easy. 

Any weird feeling he had was immediately dismissed when he remembered destiny. Fuck destiny. It never worked in his favor.

They didn't have to walk far. There was a path, flowers on either side. 

The flowers were awfully colorful for Geralt and Yennefer. There were only a few darker colored flowers, but the rest were bright. It was a nice contrast, Jaskier thought. 

They followed the path until he saw a cottage in the distance. It was quite possibly the cutest cottage Jaskier has ever seen. It was a shade of beige with vines on the side.

It didn't looked chaotic or beaten down, it was stunning, as if nature was made to take over in the most beautiful way possible. 

Jaskier tied Pegasus to a nearby tree.

"Are you ready?" Jaskier asked Ciri.

"This is all so sudden." She said.

Jaskier hummed in agreement, "That's destiny for you."

He grabbed Ciri's hand, leading her to the door. If anyone asked, it was certainly for Ciri's comfort. Definitely not his. 

He raised his hand and knocked on the door. He heard swearing from behind the door and laughed lightly. The pain of knowing Yennefer wasn't alone in there becoming stronger. 

He had to face them both, and nothing could have prepared him for this moment. His palms become sweaty as his heart rate sped up.

There were footsteps leading up to the door before it opened. It was Yennefer.

A wash of confusion washed over her face, "Jaskier?"

Fuck, was the only thought Jaskier had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't hold back introducing yennefer. also yes, i needed a flirty man, so i named him gwaine since i'm rewatching merlin right now. i also threw in some witcher 3 referenced so.
> 
> (the song is 'solider, poet, king" by the oh hellos)
> 
> i haven't written a new chapter for this in so long, but i'm back now!!
> 
> i really hoped you all enjoyed this! i love writing it. 
> 
> comments/kudos are really appreciated and help motivate me, so thank you to everyone who has left them so far.
> 
> until next time <3 :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How did you know? That Geralt did something, I mean." Jaskier couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth.
> 
> Yennefer looked amused, "It would have to take a major fuck up on Geralt's end in order to have you leave him. You two were always inseparable, and it used to annoy me, but I understood why."

"Jaskier?" Confusion written all over Yennefer's face, "Don't tell me you've stolen a child, and that's why you're here?"

"What? No." He moved so Ciri was in front of Yennefer, "Yennefer, this is Princess Cirilla, Geralt's child surprise. Cirilla, this is Yennefer."

Yennefer stood there, remaining silent for a moment, "What are you waiting for then? Get in here."

She moved so they could enter. 

Jaskier took in his surroundings. The walls were a light shade and there were plants scattered around. It seemed quite soft for Yennefer and Geralt's tastes. 

"Sit." She gestured to the table, "Why did you come to me and not Geralt?"

"Is Geralt not with you?" Jaskier asked.

She laughed dryly and shook her head, "Why would he be?"

"Last time I saw you two, you guys were awfully cozy with each other. You mean to tell me he's not here with you?"

"He's not. Let's just say a lot has changed since then. You weren't the only one he hurt on that mountain."

"How did you know that?" Jaskier had no clue as to how Yennefer knew.

Yennefer opened her mouth to answer, but she turned around when someone was approaching. Jaskier looked up to see who it was.

The woman had curly brown hair and was dressed in an orange dress. 

"Jaskier, who's that?" Ciri leaned over to whisper.

Jaskier didn't answer. He's never seen this woman in his entire life. 

"Jaskier, Cirilla, this is Triss." Yennefer said with a hint of a smile.

There was something about the way Yennefer looked at the other woman and how Yennefer smiled when she said her name.

"Oh, Oh!" Jaskier said, realizing, "So that's what changed."

"Shut it, bard."

There's the Yennefer Jaskier was used to. 

Triss sat down beside Yennefer, "It's nice to meet you two."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance. It's wonderful to see at least one of you is polite."

"I'm polite, just not to you." Yennefer shot back quickly, but there was a lack of bite in her words, "You didn't answer as to why you two are here."

Ciri spoke up, "I was told to find you and Geralt of Rivia. It's said you two are part of my destiny."

The all too familiar pang shot through Jaskier's chest again. 

Yennefer nodded, an unreadable expression was on her face, "I can help you find him as well, but you'll need to stay here for a bit and rest. You look exhausted."

"I can show her to one of the spare rooms, Yen." Triss said, standing up and gesturing for Ciri to follow her. 

Ciri did look exhausted. It was clear that last night had been one of the best night's sleep she's probably had in a while, and that wasn't saying much.

Jaskier felt himself on edge as he and Yennefer were the only ones left at the table.

"I'm not going to curse you, bard." She said.

"How did you know? That Geralt did something, I mean." Jaskier couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

Yennefer looked amused, "It would have to take a major fuck up on Geralt's end in order to have you leave him. You two were always inseparable, and it used to annoy me, but I understood why."

Before Jaskier could ask another question as to what the 'why' was, Yennefer spoke again.

"I have eyes, Jaskier. I know how you felt, or rather still feel, about him. What did he say to you?"

Jaskier hesitated, taking a deep breath before speaking, "He blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life. The child surprise, the djinn, all of it. He said how if life could give him one blessing, it'd be to take me off his hands."

He still remembers word for word what Geralt said to him, even if he didn't want to admit it. 

He felt his throat closing up and each breath being sharp against his lungs as he tried to hold back his emotions from overflowing. 

"Geralt always was an asshole with his words." Jaskier laughed in response, "You have to know he didn't mean it, though. I know he cares for you."

"No, he was right, I suppose. I could tell he meant it and wanted to say it for a while."

Something in Yennefer's face softened, it was an usual sight for Jaskier to see.

"I'm not blind, bard, remember? I can tell you for sure how I know you're wrong, that's for Geralt to say, but he cares for you."

"Then why did he never try to find me and apologize?" Jaskier felt himself instantly regret snapping.

"You don't know that he's never tried." She said.

Jaskier was truly confused by this exchange, "Why are you suddenly so nice? Are you even Yennefer? Don't tell me you're one of those doppler things, I've always hated them. There was this one time wher-"

"There's the Jaskier I'm sadly used to." Yennefer rolled her eyes, "I'm nice to you right now because despite your beliefs, I'm not a bitch. I've never truly hated you. If anything, I have the slightest of respect for you."

"And how is that? I'm pretty sure all I've ever done is talk too much and-"

"No need to continue, you're right about that. You traveled with Geralt for decades and put up with him and that onion smell, that's why."

For the first time today, Jaskier found himself genuinely laughing. 

"Will you really help her find Geralt?" Jaskier asked.

"Of course. I don't particularly want to see him, but I'll do it for her." Yennefer paused, "You're planning to leave, aren't you?"

He felt his breath hitch. 

Yennefer was always too good at reading people. It was something he feared yet respected about her.

"As you said, I don't particularly want to see him." Jaskier answered.

He didn't want to hear whatever Geralt had to add onto his past statements. After all, Jaskier was only doing what Geralt had wished. He took himself off his hands. He was no longer a burden to Geralt.

"If you won't do it for yourself, do it for Cirilla. Tell me, did you know he previous to this?" Jaskier nodded in response, "Then this will be scary for her. She will have never met this man, or any of us, before. You're the one thing she has that's familiar to her. Don't have her lose that as well."

As much as Jaskier didn't want to hear it, he supposed it was the truth. Ciri has lost so much in so little time, and he didn't want to be responsible for her losing more.

Yennefer stood up and made her way over to what seemed to be the kitchen, leaving Jaskier with his thoughts. She was still close enough to where she would be there if he needed to talk, but she was far enough away to where Jaskier could think.

It wouldn't be too bad if he left a few days after they found Geralt, Jaskier thought. He mentally scolded himself for how selfish he was being. 

He shouldn't let his worries get in the way of what was best for Ciri, he knows that, but the thought of how Geralt will react by seeing him again terrifies him. 

"I can hear you thinking from all the way in here." Yennefer said, her back turned to him.

"Firstly, rude." Jaskier said, "Secondly, I'll try to keep it down next time."

"Please do, or there won't be a next time, bard."

Any venom that Yennefer's word once held was gone. Jaskier was glad that there was no longer a reason to be terrified of merely Yennefer's existence like he had been in the past. 

Jaskier at the very least found comfort in the fact there would be quite a while before they found Geralt. He would have time to prepare for what else might come out of the witcher's mouth. 

He felt himself pulled from his train of thought once again, jumping slightly out of his seat when there was a knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> filler chapter with a dash of angst. if you think this was written at a decent time, you'd be very wrong. and no i will never have a fic where yen and triss are not together. i am but a simple lesbian. 
> 
> i hope everyone enjoyed though! i'm trying to find a way to speed it up, but it is a slow burn, so i'm making it painfully slow for now.
> 
> thank you again for comments/kudos! i really appreciate it!!
> 
> until next time <3 :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They always seemed to run in to each other no matter the time of year or location. Even at the tavern where they first met, Jaskier felt something pulling himself towards the other man.
> 
> He was never able to figure out quite why.

The knock of on the door made Jaskier's heart rate speed up once again, an occurrence that was all too familiar to him recently.

It couldn't possibly be Geralt, right? Jaskier thought. That would be ridiculous. He knew people linked by destiny will always find each other.

It was why by some miracle, he wished Geralt was part of his.

They always seemed to run in to each other no matter the time of year or location. Even at the tavern where they first met, Jaskier felt something pulling himself towards the other man.

He was never able to figure out quite why.

"Jaskier? Are you with me?" Yennefer asked, a hint of concern in her voice. 

"When have you ever known me to be fully paying attention to anything you do?" Jaskier joked.

"When I was with Geralt, apparently." She said, "I'm going to answer the door while you brood like someone we both know."

Jaskier spluttered, "I do not brood!"

She laughed at his outburst and opened the door.

"I was just here to see if-Jaskier! My friend, you got here in one piece." Jaskier recognized the voice as the the man from the tavern.

He turned around to see Gwaine, who pushed past Yennefer to walk into her cottage.

"Sure, Gwaine. Come in, will you?" Yennefer said sarcastically as she closed the door. 

"Oh, you know you love me." Gwaine said, "I just wanted to make sure Jaskier here found you okay. I was also wondering if he would maybe like to grab a drink at the tavern with me?"

Jaskier felt on edge about that idea, "I'm not too sure about that, and weren't you also just drinking not less than four hours ago when I saw you last? Honestly, dear, I'm quite worried ab-"

"Take him." She said to Gwaine before turning to Jaskier, "She'll be fine, don't worry."

The last sentence was but a whisper. She probably trusted Gwaine based on their interactions, but he still didn't need to know. The more people who know, the worse everything is. 

"I know. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just, I don't know, I guess I'm worried about her no matter who I would leave her with."

"It sounds a lot like you don't trust me, bard." She continued before he could reply, "Don't go to the tavern then. Walk around the markets for a while. They're nice in the evening, and you can buy her something. She's asleep, and I'm sure she'll appreciate waking up to something."

Yennefer said the last part loud enough for Gwaine to hear. If the other man's posture was anything to go by, he wasn't opposed to the idea. 

Jaskier thought about it for a moment, "Alright, but only because I'm planning to get something for her. She deserves it."

"I'm sure she does for putting up with you for so long." Yennefer said, "Now, leave my cottage. I'm frankly sick of your presence."

Before Jaskier could respond at how offensive that was to him, Gwaine was grabbing him lightly by the arm, "Alright, let's go, shall we? Bye, Yen!" 

"You two are quite the unlikely pairing." Gwaine said as they walked back through the forest.

Jaskier laughed lightly, "It seemed to always be that way with my friends and I."

 _Friends_. After everything, Jaskier still describes him as that and wishes they would've been more. He hates himself for it, it still aches to think about, but it's the truth.

"Last friend of yours did a number on you?" Gwaine asked as if he knew.

"Yeah, something like that."

They walked the rest of the way chattering about whatever came to mind. 

It was a nice change for once. Of course, he enjoyed the one sided conversations he and Geralt had where Geralt was just oh so invested. 

The change was good for him, he seemed to meet a match. Gwaine was equally as flirty and talkative as Jaskier was. 

Since Jaskier and Ciri had arrived at Triss and Yennefer's around midday, the sun had just barely started to set as Jaskier and Gwaine approached the markets.

Yennefer was, unsurprisingly, right. Jaskier so rarely came across markets that stayed open into the evening. The ones he came across normally closed right after midday. 

The light pink sky illuminated the market, the sky was still bright enough to see clearly. It was the perfect mixture. 

Jaskier wandered around, looking for something to buy for Ciri. He stopped by this one stand which seemed to sell jewelry.

He browsed for a few moments, taking in each piece. He stopped as soon as his eyes fell upon a certain necklace. 

It had a silver chain and a flower. The flower was a shade of blue, and Jaskier recognized it immediately. _Iris_ , he thought.

Jaskier quickly bought it and walked back down the street. He looked at it for a few moments longer before gently stuffing it in his side pack. 

Apparently, he was not paying enough attention to where he was going as he was knocked on the ground. He looked up to see a horse. 

A large man immediately dismounted, "Are you okay?" 

Jaskier looked up to see a man, who was quite frankly stunning in his opinion. The man had broad shoulders, brown hair that was longer than Jaskier's, and a face riddled in scars. 

"I'm quite fine, love. Thank you." Jaskier said, standing up, "How's your horse?"

Confusion was written all over the other man's face, "Fine?"

Jaskier could tell it was supposed to be a statement, but it came out as more of a question.

"What might your name be, darling?" Jaskier asked, "I'm Jaskier."

Jaskier stuck out a hand to shake, the other man hesitantly took it, but it only seemed to confuse the other man even more, "Eskel."

He recognized the name somewhere, he just couldn't place it. 

The other man, Eskel, spoke again, "Jaskier? Like, Geralt's Jaskier?"

Jaskier felt the air being knocked out of him, the world around him was starting to spin. Absentmindedly, his feet started moving from beneath him, running as fast as he could. 

He heard three distinct voices calling after him. Gwaine, Eskel, and another male voice that sounded all too familiar, but he didn't want to focus on it. 

He moved faster, fearing that the voices would catch up. In hindsight, it wasn't the greatest idea to run into a forest in the dark, but he did nonetheless. 

Fear was coursing through his veins when he heard movement from the trees beside him. He picked up his pace, running faster than he had in a while, just hoping he'd make it back to Ciri in time.

His running was not fast enough. He stopped as he felt something dig deep into his shoulder, searing pain shooting from his shoulder throughout his body. 

He screamed in agony as the world around him darkened, only waking up for a short moment after he heard the beast cry out. 

He opened his eyes to see a familiar white haired witcher, "Geralt?"

The other man did not reply. 

Jaskier knew he was probably just imaging things in his last moments, spending them alone. His last thought being how he supposed this was always how it was supposed to go. Him alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter done !! the next chapter will come sometime this week, but school work it piling up. i'll still try to be as consistent as possibly though !!
> 
> also i swear this isn't meant to be a merlin crossover lol. i just needed a flirty dude, so i picked the name gwaine and based the character off him.
> 
> i hope everyone enjoyed this though! i decided to speed things up a bit :)
> 
> thank you again to everyone leaving kudos/comments. i've certainly seen every single one left, even if i don't respond (truly cannot take a compliment to save my life).
> 
> until next time <3 :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you stupid? I knew you were dumb, I just didn't think it was this bad." Yennefer said, closing the door as she walked into the bedroom.
> 
> "I love it when you talk sweet to me." Jaskier joked.

Jaskier woke up in a bed.

For a moment, he thought, he hoped, he dreamt it all. Geralt, Eskel, getting attacked by whatever the fuck it was that attacked him.

He stirred lightly, and the pain that shot from his body throughout his shoulder reminded him that it very much happened. 

"Fuck." He cursed out.

Jaskier heard stirring beside him, "Jaskier, you're awake."

He turned his head and opened his eyes at the familiar voice.

"Ciri." He smiled.

"I was worried about you." Ciri grabbed his hand, helping him sit up, but she didn't release it afterwards.

His chest felt warm at that. Jaskier has heard that come from so few people. In fact, he can count all the times on one hand in which someone was concerned about his wellbeing.

At times, Jaskier thought Geralt was, how that's what all his outbursts were about whenever Jaskier got himself in to trouble, which was quite often. 

It's apparent to him now that that's not at all what they were about.

Ciri spoke again, "Although, I'm not the only one."

"Yennefer? I would say Triss, but I barely know her. Although, I've always had that effect on people, they can't help but love me."

"Not just her, well, them if you include Triss." Ciri said, "This one man, Eskel I believe his name is?"

_No, no, no, don't let this be happening,_ Jaskier thought, _don't say it._

"And Geralt." She said, "I guess he found me after all, even without you and Yennefer's help."

Jaskier felt his eyes burning as tears started to fill them. Just his luck.

The one man who he wanted to avoid found him. Not only that, Jaskier flirted with his brother.

"Doesn't sound too much like him, my dear." Jaskier said jokingly, but the words hurt nonetheless. 

A voice came from the doorway, "It's the truth, bard."

Jaskier looked to the who the voice came from, "Yennefer, I suppose you were the one to tend to my wounds once again. Thank you, love."

"Give us a moment?" She asked.

It was obviously directed at Ciri. The princess squeezed Jaskier's hand lightly before letting go, standing up to leave the room. She smiled at Yennefer on the way out, a smile which Yennefer gladly returned.

"Are you stupid? I knew you were dumb, I just didn't think it was this bad." Yennefer said, closing the door as she walked into the bedroom.

"I love it when you talk sweet to me." Jaskier joked.

She huffed, "I know why you did it. Fuck, I for a moment understood when the two of them showed up at my door. That was until I saw you in his arms."

"He's here?" Jaskier asked, his heart rate increasing once again as the inability to breathe returned. 

Despite standing, she reached down to grab his hand reassuringly.

Yennefer nodded, "There's something else you should know. In order to heal you as fast as possible, I needed to remove your glamour."

"You mean Geralt will know when he sees me again?"

"You haven't exactly been the most subtle, bard, but the answer is yes." She paused for a moment, looking remorseful, "I'm sorry for having to do it without your permission. I can put it back up as soon as you're healed, but it was the only way to guarantee you'd live."

Yennefer waited before continuing, "I didn't tell them, I wouldn't do that."

Jaskier, not trusting his words, nodded. He understood why she did it, but he was still full of fear at this. 

"I think he wants to speak with you, if you'd let him." Yennefer said softly.

The tone was uncharacteristic for her, which is how Jaskier knew Yennefer wanted him to know he has choice. Deep down, he knew she would send Geralt away if he truly wanted. After all, the witcher hurt both of them.

"If he wants to actually talk for once in his brooding life, then I suppose I have no choice but to listen." Jaskier joked, "This opportunity may never come again."

Yennefer laughed lightly, "I'll send him in but only once you're done resting. You're about to pass out on me once again."

She stood up and left the room, leaving Jaskier and his thoughts to himself. 

His mind couldn't help but wander to Geralt and what he wanted to speak about. Geralt probably wanted to blame even more shit on him. 

Geralt would probably yell at him for how Jaskier almost got himself killed once again, how Jaskier ran like a coward at the mere mention of Geralt.

____

Jaskier wasn't sure when he drifted off, but Yennefer was right. Even after being passed out for who knows long, Jaskier was still exhausted. 

Not yet opening his eyes, he moved to sit up. He immediately hissed out in pain, and then a pair of hands came to his sides, helping and steadying him.

His eyes snapped open to see familiar white hair and yellow eyes. _Geralt_.

Geralt's hands left Jaskier so fast as if they burned. Jaskier just sat there staring at him, not wanting to speak first.

Jaskier didn't want to admit it, but he was already missing the weight and warmth of Geralt's hands on his sides.

Too many times would Jaskier speak first, it was Geralt's turn this time. 

"Are you fucking stupid?" Were the first words to leave Geralt's mouth.

It still stung despite Jaskier expecting those words.

"Nice to see you too, Geralt? What has it been? Almost a year since you blamed everything that went wrong in your life on me?" Jaskier could see Geralt visibly flinch from his words, "Besides, you're a bit late I'm afraid. Yennefer already scolded me, but it was with a surprisingly low amount of profanity."

"Fuck. That's not what I meant to say." Geralt sighed, but he didn't continue. 

"Well, when you're ready to say whatever you wanted to, which I have to say I'm quite surprised, I'm here to listen."

It was the truth. Even if Jaskier didn't want to hear it, he only ever wanted Geralt to be honest with him. It was that way with everything. His music, his clothes, his hair, _everything_.

It's not because he cared too much about what Geralt thought, he would've done what he wanted to no matter what. It was the fact that Jaskier genuinely wanted to hear Geralt's input. 

He cared about Geralt and what the witcher thought.

"This isn't easy for me." Geralt paused, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it. You weren't to blame for anything that went wrong. All of those things were because of me. I've regretted it ever since. You don't have to, but I hope one day you forgive me."

For once in his life, Jaskier was speechless. Jaskier forgave him the moment he walked down that mountain. 

He shouldn't have, but he did. He certainly hasn't stopped loving him either. 

Jaskier's loves always went as fast as they came, but Geralt was always different. Geralt was the one love that always stuck. 

Even now, Jaskier can't help but feel that warmth and deep affection once again.

"Jaskier?"

"Right, right. I just need a moment." Jaskier laughed lightly, "I've never heard you apologize in all the decades I've known you. I forgive you. I did a long time ago, in fact. It doesn't mean that I'm ready to return to friends, or sorry, not friends."

Geralt nodded, waiting a moment before speaking, "We were-are friends. Why didn't you tell me?"

That was a loaded question even though the witcher didn't realize it. There were quite a few things Jaskier never told Geralt.

Jaskier being in love with Geralt, secretly feeding Roach after Geralt said not to, being half elf, breaking something still unknown in Geralt's pack.

There was a lot.

"What?"

"About you being an elf."

Jaskier sighed, "So Yennefer told you?"

"No. I could smell it the moment I walked in. It's faint, so you're clearly not fully an elf."

"In all honesty, I thought you would've figured it out. A good skin care routine can only do a man so much, Geralt." Jaskier laughed.

The sides of Geralt's lips quirked up in to what would be a smile if he were any normal person.

Maybe Jaskier wasn't ready to go back to whatever they had before, but this was certainly a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like the tags say, slow burn. well, that is if i can handle it. this is not at all the beginning of their actual relationship, but geralt apologizing was a start. he's emotionally constipated, so we'll take what we can get.
> 
> i really enjoy writing this, and i hope you all enjoy reading it!!
> 
> thank you again for all the kudos/comments. i read everyone, and they make my day :)
> 
> until next time <3 :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know, Eskel, I never got to say sorry." Jaskier said.
> 
> "About the flirting?"
> 
> Jaskier chuckled, "No, not the flirting. In fact, I still stand by that. Pray tell, are all you witchers so self-conscious? Or is it just you two?"

_"I’m at the brink, don’t laugh_  
At the winks I’ve masked  
 _Who’ll save you when you fall?"_

Jaskier strummed the chords as he sung lightly. He was leaning on a tree outside Triss and Yennefer's cottage.

" _The wrinkles and bricks that we’re left with at last._ No, not quite. _The wrinkles and rocks that we’re left with at last._ " Jaskier said, still not quite sure of what the lyrics should be.

Normally, he'd at least have Pegasus to talk to when he composed. Before that, it would be Roach or Geralt. 

The latter would always give feedback in the form of hums and grunts. Jaskier didn't know it was possible for a horse to be more helpful than a person until he met Geralt.

Yennefer had both Roach, Pegasus, and Eskel's horse, whose name is still unknown to Jaskier, put in the town stable. Apparently, she had friends everywhere within the town and could get anything she wanted. 

Jaskier wasn't surprised by that one bit. 

"You should go with bricks. Rocks sounds awful." 

Jaskier recognized the voice as Triss.

"Triss," Jaskier smiled at the sorceress, "It's nice to see you. I haven't seen you much since Ciri and I's arrival."

"You did almost die." Triss said while sitting beside the bard, "You had us all pretty worried."

"Well, I'm sure not all of you." 

Triss looked at him, "I mean it when I say all of us, even Geralt."

Jaskier scoffed lightly. Geralt being concerned about Jaskier is something that never happened in all the decades Jaskier traveled with him.

Geralt was more likely upset by the inconvenience of having to save Jaskier yet again.

Sure, the witcher apologized, but that doesn't fix the decades of what happened between them. Jaskier certainly wasn't mad anymore, he got over anything almost immediately. 

It's just the idea of Geralt being concerned sounds so absurd to Jaskier. 

"How's the song going?" Triss said.

Jaskier was thankful for her recognizing when to change the subject, "I think it's coming along alright. It's meant for two people, but thank you again for your help. It's been so long since I've had genuine feedback that wasn't just grunts and hums."

"I've never heard someone some Geralt up so well." Triss laughed.

"Did you know him before this."

Triss nodded, "He helped me with a cursed princess, a striga. He was told to leave, and he made a horrific attempt at a joke when I asked about it. _But come on, these views._ "

They both laughed loudly as Triss' impression of the witcher.

"I think that's bad, even for Geralt."

"The point is I've known Geralt for quite a while, so has Yennefer. Yen said she's never seen him act that way before."

Jaskier felt a pang shoot through his chest as a warmth spread, a feeling Jaskier was all too acquainted with when it comes to Geralt. 

Triss continued, "As for your song. If you need a second singer, I'm sure you could get Yennefer could sing with you, only if you never speak a word of it again."

Jaskier didn't know why he was surprised to find out Yennefer sung, it made sense. There was nothing she couldn't do.

"Well, thank you. I'm sure a certain little girl would enjoy it." Jaskier smiled.

Triss smiled back, standing up and starting to walk towards the town, most likely going to meet Yennefer at the market. 

Jaskier looked back to the cottage, taking a moment to take it all in.

The cottage was a decent size and had three bedrooms, which is why they could all fit. The plants that decorated the outside were a nice touch. 

It made sense that it was Triss' doing. Colorful flowers didn't seem too much like Yennefer.

Triss seemed softer than Yennefer, but she was also just as strong. Their somewhat opposite personalities balanced each other out, Jaskier thought. It reminded him of him and Geralt.

Jaskier hasn't seen Geralt since he apologized. Him and Eskel were on a hunt. The town apparently had a horrific drowner problem. 

He knew deep down Geralt was ignoring him. It's what Geralt always did whenever he expressed emotions, he'd immediately avoid them once he was done. 

Not wanting to think of the other man anymore, he stood up and walked towards the cottage. He took in his surroundings once again as he walked through the doors.

On the table was his pack. _The necklace_ , he thought. How could he forget. 

Jaskier rushed over and opened his pack, finding the necklace to still be in perfect condition. He smiled as he pulled it out. 

He walked down the small hall, standing in front of the door he knew Ciri was on the other side of. He knocked lightly.

"Come in." He heard coming from inside.

Jaskier opened the door and walked in. There were two beds and a bedroll on the floor. Ciri was sat on the bed closest to the door. 

"How are you doing?" Jaskier asked, moving to sit on the bed beside Ciri.

She shrugged lightly, "Alright considering the circumstances. How are you? You were the one who got attacked."

"That I am. I don't think I've ever been so thankful for fast healing." Jaskier laughed lightly, "What's all this about?"

He gestured to the layout.

"It's for Geralt and Eskel. They take turns deciding who sleeps on the bed. It's quite amusing at times when they fight over it."

Jaskier smiled at her, "I'm glad to hear you and Geralt get along."

"It is bizarre. I never knew he existed a while back, and yet our destinies are intertwined." She said, "I think it's why I feel so comfortable around him already. I think it's what my grandmother would have wanted."

"It is." Jaskier said, "I have something for you, by the way."

Ciri seemed to light up at that. Jaskier reached into his pocket where he put the necklace.

He pulled it out, holding it to show Ciri, "It's an iris. It means hope, and I thought you would need it right now."

She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace, "Thank you. It's beautiful."

He pulled back, "Well, turn around, so I cant help you put it on." 

Ciri laughed as she did what he told her to. They both looked to the door as they heard someone come through the front door. 

Jaskier told her to stay there and finish reading her book. He made his way back down the hall to see the two witchers standing there.

"Geralt, Eskel, you're back." Jaskier said, "Are you both okay?"

"I'm okay. Geralt on the other hand-" 

Geralt cut Eskel off, "Nothing. I'm fine." 

Even if Geralt didn't wince as he sat down on one of the chairs, Jaskier still knew it was bullshit.

"Would you mind fetching some supplies, dear?" Jaskier asked Eskel.

Eskel looked taken back for a moment, but he nodded before going over to his pack. He pulled out some salve and supplies for cleaning the wounds. 

"Take off your shirt." Jaskier said to Geralt, "No, not like that, and don't even think about protesting. You're hurt, and I'm quite sick of you pretending you aren't. It's been decades, I can tell."

Geralt huffed before moving to take off his armor, his shirt going along with it. 

"Fuck, Geralt." Jaskier said as he saw the deep gashes that riddled his torso.

"Hm." 

"Nice to see you're as talkative as ever." Jaskier said, picking up a rag to start cleaning the wounds. 

Jaskier muttered a light sorry as Geralt hissed out of pain as soon as the rag made contact with one of the deepest wounds.

"You know, Eskel, I never got to say sorry." Jaskier said.

"About the flirting?"

Jaskier chuckled, "No, not the flirting. In fact, I still stand by that. Pray tell, are all you witchers so self-conscious? Or is it just you two?"

"Lambert is a bit of a self-centered prick." Eskel said, now sitting at the table.

"Well, it's at least nice to know one of you can talk." 

Geralt turned to him, "I can talk, just not to you. Can't seem to get a word in."

Jaskier could tell Geralt meant no harm by his words, but they still hurt quite a bit. 

Nothing can fully repair what happened on that mountain. The harmful words that were said still stick with him, even if he forgave Geralt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have really bad writers block right now, and it sucks. this seems to be getting really dialogue heavy and having a lot of filler chapters.
> 
> the song is 'battle cries' by the amazing devil!! i've been loving the song recently so!!
> 
> i hope everyone enjoyed this though! 
> 
> once again, i really appreciate everyone who's taken time to read and leave comments/kudos. they really make my day!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier cursed the overwhelming warmth spreading through his chest at the confession. He remained silent, not knowing what to say. He turned his attention back to the wounds, finishing cleaning them. 
> 
> "I can do it more often," The words came out of Jaskier's mouth before he even had time to consider them, "If you'd like. I can even do it today after your bath."

_Geralt turned to him, "I can talk, just not to you. Can't seem to get a word in."_

If either of the witchers could sense his hurt, they didn't mention it. 

"He's lying, you know," Eskel said, crossing his arms, "Partially, that is. Ever since he met you, every winter he spent either talking about his adventures with you or brooding. I believe the two go hand in hand though."

Feeling it heat up, Jaskier turned his face back to Geralt's side, continuing to clean his wounds. Even though he couldn't see it, Jaskier could tell the witcher made a face to the other as Eskel laughed. 

"I suppose you know quite a lot about me then." Jaskier said.

Eskel shook his head lightly, taking a seat at the table across from Jaskier, "Not really. Geralt over here only told us useless little things about you." 

Little things about him? Jaskier pondered on what that could mean, but he quickly decided not to wait to ask, the curiosity eating him up.

"Like what? Me not being able to keep quiet on hunts?" Jaskier asked in a joking tone, not expecting an answer, "Because believe me, he's told me that enough."

Despite the tone of his words, they had a slight bite to them. Geralt winced, and Jaskier wasn't sure if due to what he said or the rag pulling at his gashes. 

"No, more like-" Eskel cut himself off, "Actually, I'll let him tell you. I'm gonna go check on Ciri, see how she's doing." 

Eskel stood up, walking out of the room.

 _Perfect_ , Jaskier thought. Geralt had been ignoring him ever since their conversation, and any chance of him avoiding him for any longer was not gone.

He still felt uneasy being alone in a room with Geralt, the tension strong in the air. He thought everything was going to be fine after their talk, but this proves the opposite. If anything, things have only gotten worse since then.

"So, are you going to tell me what you told them, or am I going to have to pester you into doing it?" Jaskier asked, "You know better than anyone that I'm not above that."

Geralt huffed, "Trust me, I know."

Even though Jaskier said he would pester, he didn't. He didn't want to do anything that could set the other man off again. 

Before Jaskier could respond, Geralt continued, "If I tell you, you have to not interrupt me, okay?"

"Okay, and just so you know, I am fully capable of not talking. I'm truly offended that you think otherwise. I-"

"Jaskier."

"Right, sorry."

Geralt took a deep breath, clearly preparing himself for whatever he was about to confess, "It was quiet whenever we parted ways. I was always so used to your annoying, incessant chatter."

"Ouch." Jaskier realized he interrupted, "Right, shutting up now."

Geralt looked as if he was holding back a smile, but he continued, "It was always...difficult for me in the beginning. The best way for me to cope with it was to remember the smaller things you did to feel like I wasn't alone anymore."

"I would find myself doing them, and Eskel, Vesemir, and Lambert would ask about them, so I would answer truthfully."

That didn't come as a shocker to Jaskier. Geralt was, for the most part, honest with the people he cared about. Although, sometimes he did have his moments. Jaskier and Yennefer themselves were evidence of that. 

Jaskier spoke when it was clear Geralt was finished, "What were the things?"

"I believe I tried a plait at one time. It was horrid, but when I looked at it, I pretended you did it."

Jaskier cursed the overwhelming warmth spreading through his chest at the confession. He remained silent, not knowing what to say. He turned his attention back to the wounds, finishing cleaning them. 

"I can do it more often," The words came out of Jaskier's mouth before he even had time to consider them, "If you'd like. I can even do it today after your bath."

Geralt shot him a look that Jaskier could easily decode. _Are you sure?_ It read.

"I'm sure. It gives me a way to channel my energy, I always have too much of it anyways." Jaskier answered, "Well, you're all done. Go bathe, and then I can do your hair."

The witcher stared at him for a moment, as if he was considering adding something else, but he didn't. He stood up, placing a hand on Jaskier's shoulder before giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

Once the other man left the room, the bard let out a deep breath, one that he didn't know he was holding. 

There was something about Geralt, something that always made any sense Jaskier had fly out the window. 

Jaskier considered himself to be pretty good when it came to talking to people, especially when they have just met him. The amount of people he bedded showed that. But it was so much different with Geralt. 

When they first met, Jaskier had no clue what to say to the witcher. It seemed like every word that came out of his mouth was always the wrong one, a fact that became apparent when he was punch in the stomach no more than ten minutes after meeting the other man. 

Slowly, over time, he found the right words to say. 

He knew when to drop a topic. Geralt always avoided eye contact, his hands becoming the slightest bit shaky. It would've gone unnoticed if Jaskier was anyone else. 

He knew that Geralt preferred it when he sung lightly whenever the witcher was coming down from a potion of his, even though he'd never admit it. 

Now, though, it seemed as if he was back at the beginning. He didn't quite know what to say and when to say it. 

He picked up his lute that was leaning against the wall, going back to his seat. He started to strum different chords, experimenting with lyrics as he went.

"Working on something new?" Geralt asked, leaning against the wall.

Jaskier almost jumped out of his chair, "Melitele's tits, warn a bard next time. How long have you been standing there?"

Geralt only hummed.

"That's not a response, you know."

The witcher's eyebrow quirked up, his lips threatening to turn into a smirk.

Jaskier continued, "Well, come here then. I don't have all day. That's a lie, I do, but that's besides the point."

Geralt sat at the seat a next to Jaskier's, turning so that he was facing away from the bard.

Jaskier, out of habit, raised his hands to the other man's head slowly. He took the strands of hair into his hands, separating it as he went. 

The hair, as brittle and greasy as it looked, was surprisingly soft, even when Geralt didn't take proper care of it. 

He started the plait at the top of the other man's head, planning for it to make it's way down. 

"If you were to ask me what I was expecting to walk into, it certainly would not be this."

Jaskier's head shot to the door where Yennefer and Triss stood. 

"Yennefer, dear, if you're jealous, you can ask." Jaskier replied, returning back to his task, "I'd be more than happy to oblige."

Yennefer laughed lightly, "Over my dead body, bard."

Her and Triss made their way down the hall, Triss waving to the two men as she passed.

"You two seem friendlier."

"It surprises me too, but we have a lot in common aside from you." Jaskier panicked slightly when he realized what he said, "In a friend way, that is."

Geralt hummed, "Right, a friend way."

"What? We're still not using that word?" Jaskier stopped for a moment.

"No, it's just," Geralt paused, "Fuck."

Jaskier huffed, "As talkative as ever, I see."

There was little venom behind his words this time. If he was being honest, he liked this. It reminded him of how they used to be, how he wanted them to be again.

"There you go, all finished." Jaskier patted the other man's shoulder.

As Geralt turned around, Jaskier felt as if all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. 

The few stray strands hanging out of the plait could only be described in one word; beautiful. It was a word that few people besides Jaskier would use to describe a witcher.

"Thank you, Jask." Geralt said, his expression softening for a moment.

Jaskier smiled, "Of course, Geralt."

He could live with Geralt never returning his feelings, but he couldn't live with Geralt never wanting to be his friend again. Or even worse, things never returning to how they used to be. 

But this made him feel confident that things were would be okay again. He just hoped his intuition was right this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't updated this in so long !! i really missed it. sorry it was so dialogue heavy though ! i'm making things switch between angst and fluff because fixing relationships is never that easy. 
> 
> i hope everyone enjoyed it though !! i really appreciate everyone who has taken time to read and leave kudos/comments. it makes my day and gives me motivation to continue.

**Author's Note:**

> finishing fics? nah. starting new ones instead? oh hell yeah.
> 
> okay legit im really excited to write this!! i hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!!
> 
> remember to toss a comment/kudo to your fic writer (if you'd like, of course)


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